Last weekend my husband was away overnight for a friends stag do, which meant after a long day keeping the children alive I had no help at teatime, bedtime or at the christening we were attending the next day. I am still exhausted from it, I’m seriously not cut out to do this parenting thing alone! If you have a spouse in the military or are a single parent, feel free to judge my complete incompetence for not being able to keep it together for 24 hours! Anyway, here’s what happens when he’s gone overnight.
- We eat pizza for tea. Normally we pick a kid each and try to get them to eat, Annie needs constant cheerleading or she will talk until it goes cold and Evan needs to be given his food bit by bit or he will feed his to the dog. I am not making a home-cooked meal for three then fighting with them to eat it, I’m taking the easy route and giving them what they want!
- We make unnecessary trips to get out of the house. I get a bit stir-crazy when I’m inside all day, so even if it’s bad weather we’ll go on a quick dog walk or go to the corner shop so I can clear my head, though Annie will obviously ask all the very urgent questions about life that pop into her head as we walk so it’s not really that relaxing!
- We stay up too late. Trying to get two children to sleep is no joke even when both of us are home, I’ve already written about Annie’s ridiculous bedtime routine and Evan is pretty unpredictable so the easiest way to do it is to wait until later than their normal bedtime and try to get Annie to sleep after Evan. I of course fell asleep in Annie’s room after they both fought sleep until close to 10pm and when I got downstairs it was close to midnight (wild Saturday night!).
- The house is a mess. This one could be because of staying up too late, I normally tidy up after the kids are in bed but it was too late and then I spent the morning trying to make sure we got to the church in time for the christening, so by the time Stu got home it did look like a tornado had hit the living room!
- I have crazy thoughts. When a bird flies into the window, there’s no one to reassure you that it was just a bird and not a murderer trying to get in, I lock the doors at 6pm and check them every half hour again because of those sneaky murderers and did the fridge always make that noise or is it about to blow up? The fear is real!
- I forget to eat. This one happens quite a lot of a lunchtime, I won’t manage to feed myself until after Evan is napping. It’s the rushing around trying to get both of them to eat, cleaning food off everything and trying to stop Bob from eating whatever Evan’s thrown at him. Luckily there was pie and peas at the christening I went to, so my friend looked after Evan for a few minutes while I inhaled my food.
- Bob worries. Our jack russell terrier will sit and look at the door starting around 5pm when he’s hoping for Stu to come home, he gives up occasionally but every car he hears driving up our street will have him heading for the door again. He will cry at me as if to ask ‘where is he?’ and won’t relax until his pack is back together.
- I look like crap. Going out somewhere at a specific time when you have two kids and yourself to get ready is hard work! I can’t leave them alone together for more than 5 minutes without Annie trying to pick Evan up or Evan pulling chunks of Annie’s hair out, which means getting ready in a rush. By the time we got to the party after the christening, my hastily thrown up hair had pretty much fallen out so I resorted to a quick ponytail. I also looked pretty sweaty after chasing Evan up and down the steps of a not so toddler friendly venue!
- I miss him. Of course I do, it’s so strange sleeping in a bed by myself after we’ve lived together over 10 years. And having to text or call him when the kids do something adorable instead of him being there to see it is not quite the same. Also, as much as I love how chatty my two children are, I REALLY miss adult conversation.
- He owes me one. Hands down the best part of him being away! After the christening, I took the kids home, greeted my husband with a brew and a moan about how hard the kids had been and went back out to meet up with friends I’d barely spoken to due to all the toddler chasing. I hadn’t seen them in months so it was lovely to have a catch up and bit of adult conversation.
Do you have any to add? Let me know in the comments!